A few months ago our 19 year-old son visited home, on leave from his job training program in another part of the state. He planned to meet a friend at a rave in Portland but once he arrived at the advertised address, he found only a dark house - no lights on, not even on the porch. He told us later that he went up to the door and knocked. The irate man who answered the door told him that no, this was not the address where the rave was being held and would he please pass the word to anyone else who might be looking? It seemed that this guy's door had been knocked on many times that night, and he was mighty pissed.
When we heard this story, my husband and I shuddered. The man who answered the door only seemed annoyed, and only yelled at the party goers who knocked. If he'd been fearful or paranoid and had a gun, he might have shot one of the kids, just as the self-appointed neighborhood watchman in Florida shot Trayvon Martin..
The violent death of a child or young person generates more public heat than most other crimes. I think one reason for this is because many people in the news audience who have kids (or who love kids even if they don't have children of their own) automatically put themselves in the shoes of bereaved parents. They photoshop their own child's face onto the newswire picture of the victim. I know I do.
It's an uncomfortable response to say the least, but there's nothing wrong with it. It's called empathy, and without empathy, there's no motivation to change things. All meaningful social change starts because one person empathizes with another.
When I read disturbing news items like this I know deep down, even if I might not admit it at the time, that it could just as easily happen to someone I love. Many young people wear hoodies at times. Those who aren't driven everywhere by a taxi parent will need to walk home at night on occasion. Certainly Noel did his share of walking home, as I did when I was in high school and there wasn't an adult driver at my disposal.
In a sane world, merely walking home at night doesn't automatically make the walker a target. But we don't live in a sane world and there's always a chance that someone I know won't make it home because he or she was cut down by a stupid, pointless act of violence.
I worry about Noel and some of the other young people I know. Many of them are living on their own for the first time, working minimum wage jobs, living in scary parts of whatever city they're in, and taking the bus or walking because they can't afford a car - just like I was doing at 21 in Seattle.
Trayvon Martin was killed, and nothing can bring him back. His family will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. But maybe one good thing can come of it: an increasing number of people may recognize that in the end, we're all vulnerable in one way or another. Any one of us could be the victim.
In the end, the mindless violence that springs from knee-jerk prejudice drags all of us down. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. This alone should provide the kick that moves us towards building a world where simply being alone on a dark street doesn't send an invitation to murder, and where all kids are safe regardless of their skin color or choice of outerwear.
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